Day 30 of 30. The final installment in this journey

I started a 30 day blogging practice 30 days ago after finishing Jon Acuff’s latest book, “Soundtracks.” I wanted to try out the Affirmation Anthem morning and night for 30 days to see what it did for my goals and my clarity.

True story: it did a lot. It helped reveal tendencies I had been having around my goals that needed shedding and, in the thirty day cycle, I came to some really good clarification as to next steps and up-leveling.

True story: I was not one hundred percent consistant on my Anthem practice morning and night. But also, in the imperfect way in which I did practice it, I had such a return on the investment I made in intentional thinking it worked even when I didn’t.

First, I thought about the Affirmations a lot beyond just reading them to myself in the mirror every day. I thought about “I am the CEO of my life and I am the best boss.” all the time. I thought about how “Everything is always working out for me” constantly. I was looking for evidence to prove my own strength, to remember the goodness all around me and how every day and moment is an opportunity FOR my growth, not against it. And I mean everything. Negative space, boredom, conflict, stress, summer humidity, grocery shopping- they all present themselves with a choice. Hopie, you can do one of two things: you can use this circumstance FOR yourself or you can feel resistance to the moment and judge it as somehow not ideal.

Throughout the month I was thinking more about that first option. In my weight loss goal, I lost seven pounds and got really clear about certain choices and shifts that would bring me more success. Instead of judging myself for not doing enough, I started celebrating all the tiny ways I was doing things FOR my future goal.

Beyond my weight loss goal, I started really knowing what it was I wanted for my professional future. Before this I’d really been torn in multiple directions, but the great thing about living on purpose is that it brings unexpected wins you hadn’t planned on. One of my wins was allowing myself to start dreaming about a professional future where I don’t have to choose. I’m a musician, songwriter, podcaster and coach. I’m all of it. Blam-o. I’m dreaming of all the gutsy asks I’m going to do in the future around all three and have the best life ever.

And now, on vacation, with my husband, dedicating real intentional time for us to talk, walk, wonder, dream, drink fancy cocktails and sit in awesome hotel lounges like the one I’m in right now, it feels amazing. Slower, clearer, on purpose, worth celebrating. I’m thinking of my next big challenge. I’m thinking of my next 30 days in a new way. I’m having fun and recharging here in Chicago stocking up on wonder, summer, and ice cream.

There’s so much worth savoring and enjoying, my friends. The highest flyers among us who don’t burn out or fade away, are building lives of joy, wonder, ease and curiosity. They know that to do their best work requires them to live at a place where energy keeps bubbling up, where discouragement is traded in for curiosity and solutions, where open-hearted delight is practiced and put in a place of great importance in order to be clear, healthy and peaceful enough to get at that next big idea, that next big project. You can only hustle your way so far before you have to drive in a different gear that does less damage to the vehicle, saves on gas and gets you where you’re going. Think on that. Buy that book, “Soundtracks” be gentle and kind to yourself. You are a non-renewable resource that has an expiration date. Be wise, be loving, ask for help, bring others with you. High five.

Day 8/30 Self-talk rewire

Welcome to my daily post on my 30 day practice of morning and evening Affirmations Anthem as suggested by Jon Acuff in his book, “Soundtracks.” It is day eight.

Day 8 feels like a good place to be. It means 14 mirror to me sessions morning and night saying positive, forward thinking thoughts. By Day 8 I’m up early asking myself, “I wonder what else I could add to the script?”

What significance does that hold, in my opinion? It means I’ve squarely landed in the normalizing of such a practice and have now entered into the openness of asking, “How can I up level even as I’m up leveling? How can I make this practice even more effective than it already is?”

I think that’s a really good sign. It shows that this new habit isn’t just a “have to” that feels weighty and pressing, it’s a habit that feels good, light, and strong. When a goal enters into the realm of good, light and strong, then there’s a shift from endurance being the motivating factor to commitment and curiosity as the motivating engines.

It’s a big day over here. Tomorrow starts a week long Vacation Bible School at my church and I’m the co-director. Today is completing all the final prep and decoration for tomorrow morning’s start. In the past, such a day would signal panic, urgency, stress, worry. I don’t feel any of those things. Instead, I am excited to get to work, I will be glad to use the day productively, if stuff doesn’t get done, then it doesn’t get done and VBS will start tomorrow no matter what. Such a feeling of groundedness is one million times more preferable than the alternative. Life becomes a nice thing to do instead of a punishment and that, my friends, is the goal. High five.

Day 7/30 I am the CEO of me and I am the best boss

The house is quiet. It’s the beginning of Day 7 of my 30 day Affirmations Anthem practice a la what Jon Acuff recommends in his latest book, “Soundtracks.” I decided to blog every day on my experiment to notice what changes, shifts and A HA moments arrive along with my intentional thought practice.

Today is for the VBS music setlist, buying overalls at the farm supply store to wear as my VBS get up, and getting loose VBS ends tied up before tomorrow.

“I am the CEO of Me and I am the best boss.” THis is number four on the list of affirmations. I don’t immediately resonate with this sentence because CEO is a fancy business term and my business prowess is much much smaller than that. But I took it on a walk with me yesterday morning when it really was feeling like summer over here and it helped me better unpack how to use this thought in my favor.

I’m in charge of me and since I am the best boss/supervisor/agent for my own life, it means I do things for myself that help the company. I set myself up for success. The best boss makes sure I’m getting time off, getting rewarded and acknowleged for my good work, creating an environment where people are asking questions and finding solutions, helping me be my most creative and productive self, seeing how I’m an asset to the greater mission of the team. That’s what my imaginary best boss does.

So that means I should be doing those things for myself. I don’t get in the way, I don’t withold, I don’t judge, pre-judge/ post-judge. I let it play out and understand there’s learning and processing to be done. I work hard and I get to have fun. A strong, healthy, mentally clear employee is a good employee. I’m the CEO of Me and i AM the best boss. See you tomorrow!

Day 6/30 Log the wins

It’s day 6 of my self-talk Affirmations Anthem experiment thanks to reading Jon Acuff’s book, “Soundtracks,” and today I want to let you in the wins from just six days in.

I asked for help. Yesterday, after writing on top of my journal “I’m ready for a bigger challenge” every day for a week, I finally did what Big Baller brand champions do to achieve their goals and I asked for help. Not only that, I pushed through some shame and self-doubt to get there and that is amazing.

I mentioned I’ve been working on a weight loss goal for the past two months and there are parts of it that are easy and fun and there are parts of it that challenge and stretch me. In two months I’ve feared the scale and deemed it the realm where dreams die and hope turns to sadness with a flash of a number. Yesterday, the self-talk about getting out of my own way coupled with the “I’m ready for a bigger challenge” joined forces and it occured to me that fearing the scale, was, indeed, NOT the hill I wished to die upon. And what’s the alternative?

Ask other people who do NOT fear the scale, as well as others who have overcome such fear to lend a hand. Pros reach out to pros when they know others have information and wisdom to offer. The myth of the lone wolf is total bullshit. The day you get super serious about removing perpetual roadblocks and resistance is the day the real work starts happening.

The good news is that I have experience following the same momentum-fear-failure-stuckness-hiding circuit so I notice when it shows up. I also have had experience pushing into wilder country beyond the borders of my old habits and patterns to get to new territory.

This is that. I’m in wilder country. I’m in new territory. What did it take? A belief that the goal is more important than holding on to half-baked data and history as my guide. When the goal becomes more important than the failure and vulnerability required to get there? Look out world.

I stepped on the scale. I asked for help. I entered into a realm of better knowing and less hiding. It’s on, you guys. It’s totally on.

Day 4/30 Everything is always working out for me

Oh hey. Hope here. It’s Wednesday, my mom’s birthday is today. She turns 77. I’m 44. This is day 4 of my self-talk in the mirror because I read the latest Jon Acuff book, “Soundtracks,” experiment and I like that I made it all the way to day 4.

In his podcast recently, Jon Acuff talked about a 30 day challenge and how most people quit in the middle. Asked to define “the middle” he said, “Days 2-29.” Truth.

One of the affirmations in the anthem is this, “Everything is always working out for me.”

If I had been asked to say something that audacious three years ago I would’ve simply refused, judged you for even thinking such a notion and launched into a sloppy and hastily prepared argument for why good people never think positive things unless it is, “After all this is done, Jesus will take me to heaven” Or “Life is supposed to be this bad so we learn mercy and forgiveness.” I shit you not, that was perhaps the height of my pep talk ability. Other such pep talks included but were not limited to, “Fuck it.” and “I got into heaven on a technicality.”

Needless to say, my brand of optimism was hot garbage and no one was lining up to talk more about how I could stomp their hopes and dreams, along with my own, into oblivion over a cup of Starbuck’s.

Now, however, three years and lots of coaching and self- talk practice later, I see the value and wisdom in saying something like, “Everything is always working out for me.” Why? Because it sends a valuable message to our brain holes that indicate we should be on the look out for good things. We think things and then we aim to prove them true. I love saying “Everything is working out for me” because then I get to live from the curious, fun, not a total drag excitement of seeing where it is I am being helped, loved, cared for, provided for and supported by my family, my friends and community and a God who loves me dearly. Not just on a technicality.

When I start my day with a notion that there are treasures to be discovered and wins to collect that have been prepared in advance for me to experience, then there’s nothing heavy, punishing or bummer-ish about human existence! It’s a great 24 hours meant to be a gift to make my life fun. Three years ago I was convinced that “blessing” was code for “suck it up and do it like math or eating organ meat because it’s “good” for you” but now, I know I was way wrong. In fact, I was actively working to remove peace, joy, fun and delight from these days I live and breathe by replacing that nice stuff with more virtuous stuff like struggle, stress, punishment and long-suffering.

Is life difficult? Totally. Does it come pre-approved for hard days, sad things and strife? Also yes. All the more reason to bask in the freedom of days that DON’T have those trials. All the more reason to fall deeply in LOVE with the tiny wins and successes we enjoy like coffee, toast, exact change, yacht rock on demand, hugs, flip flops, low humidity, dad jokes, plant sales, VBS, power steering, all that stuff. Have a great day.

Day 2/30 New Anthem Affirmation morning

Here’s an unexpected bonus: The affirmation is meant to be said aloud both in the morning and at bedtime. I usually do say encouraging things in the morning, I also write down intentions, do my prayers and devotion and am mostly what I’d call a ‘morning person.’ THis New Anthem practice I’m doing for 30 days is for saying in the morning and at night which means yesterday was one of the first days where I practiced intentional thinking before bed.

How interesting. I intentionally said something good and grounding prior to letting go of the day. It reminds me of this good Shui rhythm practice I heard my girl, Amanda Gibby Peters mention in the latest Art School Podcast with Leah Badertscher:

Get up to journal and work out: wood energy/Go to work, be seen, take meetings and phone calls: fire energy, come home, make a meal and come back to yourself: earth energy/ prepare for bed, let the day go: metal energy/sleep peacefully: water energy.

The power of intentional routine working through thoughts and actions according to the time of day. It reminds me of daily prayer practice, of good routine and ritual, lighting candles, changing clothes, marking the shift in time with a shift in us, asking for a shift in ourselves with intentional words in a chosen moment.

Is it weird to stand in the bathroom reading the New Anthem affirmation to myself? Yes. It is worth doing to see what will happen? Also yes. Have a great day.