“Will the Real Hope Dunbar please stand up?”

THat’s what I’m calling my kickstarter campaign. Earlier this summer I had that day I had heard people talk about over the past year. I had that day when I could feel the future and I could see the door and I had to choose whether I was going to hang on to the past or start really living as who I was meant to be. I hadn’t seen that day coming but when I was living it, it was so clear to me who I was meant to be and how I was supposed to live that it was the line in the sand. It was the part in the story when the narrator says, “…and ever since that day…”

The Real Hope Dunbar feels electric and a hundred feet tall. She donkey kicks the heck out of life. She is the cool girl with the shades on who doesn’t look behind her as the abandoned warehouse explodes into a firestorm. She just slo-mo walks away like a boss.

But it’s Wednesday morning at 5am and I can’t sleep and I don’t feel a hundred feet tall or electric and I sure hope nothing goes up in flames on my watch because none of us need that kind of headache. Instead of an abandoned warehouse exploding, how ‘bout I slo-mo walk away from the Seward Public Library after returning my overdue library books? Is that cool? Or what if I kept my shades on like a boss as I load my grocery cart with liquid hand soap and travel size hairspray? That’s cool. That’s real. And I’m Hope Dunbar. So that makes for a Real Hope Dunbar.

Meow meow meow I know what you’re thinking.

“Hope, this is lame. You’re supposed to be donkey-kicking the hell out of life from the moment you wake up.”

And meow meow meow I totally agree with you.

Where did she go? She was seriously right here just a minute ago. Why can’t I just snap my fingers, feel electric, a hundred feet tall and give this thing a round house kick to the bread basket and show ‘em whose boss?

The Real Hope Dunbar. She’s here. I know she is, but I’ve got these thoughts that can be a royal bunch of jerks. Also, I wake up sometimes like Goldie Hawn in “Overboard” having been pulled out of the ocean by a trash barge without a notion of who I was the day before.

That’s cool too. I got this. I got this and it’s VERY REAL. So real that the camera keeps rolling after the electricity starts to flicker. So real that the lighting is kinda bad and my makeup’s come off. Sure, I like living the cool days when I feel kickass. Who doesn’t love feeling on fire (this time you’re on fire-in a good way- and the warehouse still stands)? But you know what? I’m not shaken by the days when life feels less shiny. I’m getting there.

To remind myself of my brightest version, I’m wearing red Converse sneakers every day for the duration of my Kickstarter campaign. It’s a nod to who I really am. To the REAL HOPE DUNBAR. So that, when she kicks down the door and karate chops the bad guy, I’ll be dressed appropriately.

What’s your true self look like? What’s your true self wear? Love? Do? Is your true self more a donkey kicker or round houser? I’d love to know.

Here’s a link to my kickstarter (KICK-starter) if you’re curious. Love, Hope