I have been hearing lots of different voices. Hear are a sampling of three.

Fear. Fear says, "You are going nowhere and wasting time you could be spending here at home. You had this stupid idea about making something, but in the end it won't be anything. You are being self-indulgent when you should be serving. It's time to grow up and do what you are supposed to be doing and stop pretending to be something you're not."

Fear says I should quit music and singing songs for people.

My own brain. My own brain says, "Fear has got a point. You already know that you are a bad organizer, a bad calendar keeper, a bad money manager. You might want to do music, but you're not even equipped with the practical skills to make music manageable. It's time for you to be home. It's time for you to focus on what's important. No one knows what to do with a 38 year old housewife singer/songwriter. "

My own brain says I've got stuff here at home. That stuff needs me. Let the 23 year olds have the music. It's time to be a grown up.

Jeff Tweedy. I heard an interview with Jeff Tweedy yesterday. He's made music for lots of years. He reminded me that music isn't a mountain to be scaled and if it is, that's between me and the music. Music isn't about whether I'm young enough or thin enough and, really, music isn't about getting on the road to play shows (even though that is a really cool part of it). Music isn't a monster or a muse that will take me over or turn me into a slave. It's work like any other and I can do it from where I'm at. I guess I got kinda wrapped up in the external parts of music and Jeff Tweedy reminded me of the essentials. 

My music career probably won't be about views or hits or shares or albums sold, but it can be about doing good work from where I'm at. I think the contest got to me. I started thinking it was time to take on the world. Jeff Tweedy reminded me that it's not about taking on the world. It's about taking on the work in the midst of family and life and helping out where I'm at. 

Jeff Tweedy reminded me that it's not that big of a deal. Thanks, Jeff.

1 Comment