This is me and my friends having a blast at Fat Blast. It’s this whole new thing.

This is me and my friends having a blast at Fat Blast. It’s this whole new thing.

This is the first year where I’ve really felt like the target audience for all those post- Christmas/New Year’s Resolution weight loss campaigns out there. In past years, sure, they were always tempting but this year feels like I’m really in the desired doughy white lady demographic those programs need to meet their sales quotas for January.

I woke up with this urgent feeling of, “'I’m going to clean out my fridge, then go buy all workout gear, then plunk down a ridiculous amount of money for whatever 8-week miracle campaign that promises I’ll be Ally McBeal in my “After” photo. (dated pop culture reference acknowledged)

Yes. I’m going to be the one on the Weekly World News Garth Brooks Juice DIet (“So I married an Axe Murderer” reference) and my whole world is going to change.

This is what I was ranting about as I loaded the washing machine with bath towels this morning when my husband started talking me off the extreme Fat Camp ledge.

And then I remembered what I said I would really be working on in these weeks and months to come and it’s not measuring out my food to become a better me. I’ve been working on my “believe ability” since Life Coaching school. The idea that I’m gearing my thoughts toward my desired identity even if I’m not that identity just yet.

Instead of letting circumstances control how I feel about myself and my chub levels (for example), I’m practicing the belief that I already am all those things I wish to become. I’m practicing daily life as if the 8-week miracle diet already worked and I’m exactly who I’ve always wished to become.

It’s weird. But it’s so cool. Who am I now and who do I think I will be after fat camp?

Who I am now (this is what I may have thought before, but I don’t think it anymore): I’m a mess, I’m in progress, I’m a caterpillar, I’m a “before” picture, I’m not worth it.

Who I will be after fat camp: I like the way I look, I dress up when I feel like it, I take excellent care of myself mentally, emotionally and physically, I wear cute clothes and the world is mine.

So here’s the believe ability part. I’ve decided to just skip fat camp, not wait, and believe that I am already who I will become in the future. If I take excellent care of myself and believe I’m worth it, it’s so much easier to take that walk, put down the cookie, dress up and look cute. I’m not pretending to be worth it, I really am worth it. I believe that I’m all the things I dream of being once I shed the Christmas chub. I’m all those things right now.

Which makes joining the Extreme Fit and Forty club great but not loaded with all this baggage of identity and self-worth and happiness. I can be a chunky monkey and feel awesome. I can also be a triathlete and feel awesome. My awesomeness doesn’t hang on the miracle diet anymore and so now I’m free to just be awesome no matter what and chase after my dreams. If I choose the fat camp route, it just means I can chase them at a quicker pace without getting winded so quickly and, since I’m interested in the work, then maybe the calorie counting might help me become better focused and more energized for the really important stuff of fully inhabiting the calling God has given me.

And now I know all the bots are reading my thoughts and I’ll be flooded with incredible deals on early fat camp registrations. I’ll look into them all after me and my apple watch go for a run (I don’t have an apple watch).

P.S.. This is mostly a songwriting, creative blog. But ya know, ‘tis the season. Also, Friday is my house concert and I’m really excited so now I’m working on editing my last song. Yay!