I'm going to California tomorrow which means today is one last ditch effort to get everything done as well as possible to leave my husband with resources at his finger tips like clean clothes, clean dishes, a living room that one could walk through without suffering injury.

I hear it's raining back at home. I'm so glad for them. They need the rain. I'm so mad at them. I need the sun. Come on, California! Work with me! I'm in the sub zeros over here like a sucker for weeks and the one time I decide to clear out and head west, you're telling me it's a high of 62 and chance of rain?!!! Say what?!! It's fine. 62 is still going to feel better that 15. I just needed to freak out in short paragraph form and now I'm better.

When I go home I'm going to play a show for my friends and family. I've never done this before. I'm reminded of Jesus trying to talk to folks in his hometown and coming away with, "A prophet is without honor in his own hometown."  Now, I'm no Jesus, but I get what he's saying. How can a girl with bad hair and a reputation for being a slacker get up and start singing semi-autobiographical songs (and others ones) and connect with someone who remembers that I was the girl scout who never sold any cookies, who was absent from school too much on questionable grounds and who kidnapped those exchange students that one time to take them to a party? Would a listener be inclined to listen to someone like that? I can only hope so. The pep talk presently stands at: I can't change the past, but I can show up and let them see the present version of me. 

I got a new dress from the clearance rack at Target yesterday. I took my son to get braces. I practiced some poor crafting skills by making a poster for church, I shuttled kids to practices and in the in between I wrote  some lines for a new song, I mulled over another that's not quite done yet. California is going to be great, but I'm going to miss my people who will stay here at home. 

I hope when my boys grow up they get excited about the prospect of coming back and playing a show for all of us. I hope they know how much we'll be cheering them on.